Corcoran Law & Mediation Centre are Experienced Domestic Violence Lawyers in Calgary

Recognizing Abuse

In Canada, a 2018 statistical profile found that over 1/3 of all police-reported violence occurs between intimate partners. Abuse can take many forms – physical, sexual, psychological, digital, forced confinement, financial, cultural and even spiritual. There is help.

Under the Divorce Act family violence means any conduct, whether or not the conduct constitutes a criminal offence, by a family member towards another family member, that is violent or threatening or that constitutes a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour or that causes that other family member to fear for their own safety or for that of another person — and in the case of a child, the direct or indirect exposure to such conduct — and includes:

• physical abuse, including forced confinement but excluding the use of reasonable force to protect themselves or another person;
• sexual abuse;
• threats to kill or cause bodily harm to any person;
• harassment, including stalking;
• the failure to provide the necessaries of life;
• psychological abuse;
• financial abuse;
• threats to kill or harm an animal or damage property; and
• the killing or harming of an animal or the damaging of property.

Early Indicators of Abuse

Your partner:

• is extremely jealous;
• wants to know where you are at all times;
• gets upset if you spend time with friends or family;
• holds rigid expectations of male/female or adult/child roles;
• expects you to meet their emotional needs;
• blames others and you for his problems; or
• threatens you with violence.

Effects of Abuse…

…on children.

Children who are witness to or victims of family violence, are at serious risk for long-term physical and psychological problems. A baby may not form a healthy emotional connection with either parent; young children may revert back to infant coping mechanisms like bed-wetting, thumb-sucking or increased crying; and older children may develop gastrointestinal issues, experience guilt, act out aggression, retreat from school, family and friends and engage in risky behaviours.

In circumstances of family violence, the best advice we can give to you is not legal advice, but rather relates to the physical and psychological development of children in toxic environments. Children’s brains that are exposed to toxic stress develop differently than children’s brains that are not exposed to toxic stress. If you are in an abusive relationship where your child may be exposed to toxic stress, you need to protect the child. If you can protect the child from toxic stress, you can provide the child a fair opportunity to grow and develop. Whether you choose to stay together or to separate, if the child is exposed to toxic stress, the child may not have a just chance at developing into a productive adult.

…on an abused partner.

Abused men and women may feel helpless and find it difficult to manage their day-to-day activities; they may find themselves being less patient with their children, resort to drugs and alcohol, experience guilt, shame or low self-esteem and blame themselves. These feelings and behaviours often intensify over time making it more and more difficult to regain control over one’s life.